Feminism, beauty regimes - and Ukrainian women abroad.
In her first column, the Ukrainian playwright Polina Polozhentseva takes a look at nails, sweaters, grooming and who is really in charge?
BY POLINA POLOZHENTSEVA
We were gifted feminism.
By 'we,' I mean Ukrainian women who have been living abroad since 2022.
Therefore, some of them are still in the paradigm of 'better to die in place than not to get a shellac this month.' By the way, I am also among them.
(Shellac)
They dig up other Ukrainians in London who will do their eyebrows (like a wolf) or enlarge their lips, etc. That's where I draw the line 😂
The names of such specialists are whispered like some sacred knowledge. Because if other customers find out about them, we won't be beautiful anymore, and British men will no longer be saying, 'I only want to date a Ukrainian.'
Recently, I had an argument on this topic with a friend. Because such wording offends me. I read it as: 'European women refuse to serve, so I'll turn to a resident of a country where they've barely heard of feminism.'
But my friend, on the contrary, takes pride in the brand 'Ukrainian woman.' Here’s her direct quote: “We always look so well-groomed and younger than our age.”
Well... that's where the devil lies. We look well-groomed and young because of our nerves. And we are constantly stressed about our own imperfections. For example, if a shellac chips off one little nail 😂
A British woman can go for a week with chipped nails or torn tights because they don't define her. Our women might last an hour. Try it yourself, and then tell me what your maximum is 😉
And what about pilling sweaters? How could I forget about them? 😂 This is an item of clothing that neither a London woman nor her well-groomed boyfriend care for. (Editor’s comment: pilling is the formation of fuzzy balls on the surface of wool clothing, if not conquered, it results in a worn out appearance, some say.)
Yes, often in couples here, men look the more attractive.
I've even heard the theory that in England, the man is the face of the family, while in Ukraine, it's the woman. There's definitely something to that.
It seemed like the ideal of any woman– she can be whatever she wants and have a husband who looks like he stepped off the cover of Vogue... But no. Ukrainian women actively condemn her for her appearance. I’ll say it again. The partner is satisfied with this woman. Complaints come from residents of another country.
Because how dare she enjoy life and not go through all those painful procedures. Do your eyebrows and cry! Be like everyone else!
I am absolutely sure women's rights need to be fought for. If they are just given away freely, then women will continue to want to be beautiful instead of wanting love that isn’t based on beauty.
Polina Polozhentseva is a Ukrainian playwright in London. Her plays are full of humor, although audiences sometimes don't laugh - because 'you can't laugh about war.' With Polina, we are adding the perspective of a Ukrainian woman, mother, refugee and barista abroad to our blog, hopefully you will enjoy her sometimes irreverent musings.
If you want to know more about Polina and her work, have a look here.
May 8, Polina’s play ‘A Fan of War’ will be staged in New York, as part of the festival ‘Showcasing Ukrainian Theater in the USA’.
My 67 yr old wife is Ukrainian. She dresses well and does her hair even to go to Walmart. I tell her Men will notice you. She just laughs. When I first went to Ukraine 25 years ago I was blown away by the beautiful women. They do care about their looks. My wife makes sure I look decent because she says it's a reflection on her.
I’m Ukrainian, I don’t do shellac (just keep my nails clean, that is enough). I don’t do brows or face shaping; and I know British women with 5 cm long lashes, and shellac, and brows. And some of them are university professors. The truth is, Ukrainian women were taught they _need_ a man no matter what, and this is wrong. But this is a bias of all traditional societies. I like it way more when women do whatever is they want to look like they want. And they get together with a man (or not a man) because they want to and like a man, not because they think they are less worthy if they are not married/dating.